Lofty Expectations

The expectations conundrum is one of life's more difficult dilemmas.  How do we balance our desire to succeed against the realities of a competitive world, and the unexpected challenges that it may throw our way?  This is a big part of learning and ultimately succeeding at whatever we endeavor to accomplish.

Most, if not all, of us like to set goals and achieve them, whether formal or informal in nature.  If you are a regular reader of "Workout Your Faith", then you know that I speak often about goals and the way we go about setting them, and/or achieving them.  Today I want to look primarily at the dirty dark side of the situation, when we don't live up to our expectations.  How do we handle it?  What comes next?  Did I fail?  These are a few of the questions I need to look into with you, so that we can all come out better on the other side.

As I write I have just completed a week that has shown two variations in how this works, one from my own experience and the other from observing my daughter.  The difference is stark, and one must consider the difference in age and maturity level between a 48 (soon to be) 49 year old, and that of a 16 year old, but I find it illustrative nonetheless.

In my corporate position we have been involved for months with an audit of our financial records by a contractor for the federal government.  This is not an audit because of any criminal wrongdoing, but a part of the growing oversight to determine that government dollars are being used in the most appropriate manner possible (remember that budget deficit and national debt stuff).  This past Monday when I returned to the office we had finally received the draft report from the auditors that will be given to the agency with whom we are contracted to begin the next phase of the audit process, the error correction phase.

The report outlined the issues that the auditors found with our processes and systems, and how these few areas were deficient under the regulations.  As a matter of expectation none of the items were a tremendous surprise.  When you are a small organization and deal with the tremendous complexities of government regulation, it is not unusual to miss something or not fully understand the ramifications of seemingly small items.  My disappointment in the audit findings then was not tremendous.  Yes we all want a clean audit, no matter the field we are in, or who is doing the oversight, but we also realize these people are here to make us better.  It is when we adopt this attitude that we will succeed.  Those who oversee us and can in the proper context guide us to improvement are to be respected and followed.

In the church it might look like this:

Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders.  Yes, all of you be

 submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for 

"God resists the proud,

but gives grace to the humble."

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

I Peter 1:5-7

On the other end of the scale is the disappointment such as my daughter faced this week.  Olivia is a bright, talented, energetic, overachieving sophomore at a local high school.  Yesterday was the annual audition for the All-Region choir which she was a part of last year at the Jr. High level, and by the way when these choirs get together and sing it is a beautiful thing, especially to an old sports guy that missed the boat when it came to the arts back in my youth.  Unfortunately Friday rolled around and she was not feeling well, and yesterday morning early, even as we were rolling into the parking lot to catch the bus to the audition, she said, "I can't do it."  Then as we exited the car and walked to the door to notify the choir director there was a change of heart (less than two minutes from "I can't do it.")  So off she went knowing in her heart that she was not at her best.  Several hours later her number was called for the audition.  The time she had put in was being put to the test, and then the waiting would begin.  We picked her up and of course the first question we had was, "how did it go?"  The truthful response, "terrible".  It is understood from the viewpoint of a parent that it is difficult to perform at your highest levels when you do not feel well.  In the eyes of youth it may be known, but that knowledge doesn't cross the threshold of our mind to the emotional side.  So as the waiting persisted, and she started to feel a little better physically, her level of expectation (even though she termed her performance terrible) rose, and she fully expected to be named to one of the All-Region honor choirs.  Alas, the call came late last evening, and reality set in.  There would be no honor choir this year.  Yes we were, and continue to be, disappointed for her.  No it isn't easy consoling our kids in their disappointment.  However, we will see over the next several days what she is made of, in how she responds to the disappointment.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,

so are the children of one's youth.

Psalm 127:4

Our job as parents will be to make sure her arrow remains on point, and aimed in the proper direction.  Her job will be to assess her preparation and performance, as well as the reality of her decision to perform in light of her illness.  We as parents are proud of her for showing commitment and sticktoitiveness in carrying on despite her illness, and yet we must help her temper her emotions and re-connect the realities of the situation to the emotions she has felt.

As we all set goals and seek success with the various aspects of our lives we must remember to keep the connections clear between the realities of the world and the emotions and desires of our heart.  Some have said,

"I never fail, as long as I learn from my failures"

I like that.  That is an attitude that will propel you forward.  Forward, with a few occasional steps back for perspective, is the direction we need to be heading.  A winning attitude will help us all to Make Today Great!

Checkpoint

We have put to rest the first week of the new year.  Many have set out on resolutions or goals for the year, now are they willing to check-in to assess how they are doing?  This at the heart of why many will not live up to the ambitious targets they have set.

If you truly seek change in your life, then it is imperative to check-in periodically.  When we fail to keep tabs on our progress  we often wind up in an out of control spiral away from the target, and that is when we give up.  You are better than that! 

In matters of faith, are you praying regularly?  In a letter to the church at Thessalonica Paul exhorted them to "pray without ceasing".  We are further guided to "study and show thyself approved. . ."  Have you been in the word?  Finally in the faith category, are you attending worship?  Being with others who are seeking God, encouraging one another and bearing one another's burdens is a wonderful blessing.

On the finance front what have you changed toward a different result?  Are you still living the bad habits of your past?  Adopt the "B" word, a budget, and work at it daily.  Work on yourself to hone your skills and increase your knowledge to make yourself more valuable in your workplace or the marketplace at large.  In the words of Dave Ramsey, use "baby steps".  We did not get to where we are overnight, nor will we get to our desired outcome that quickly either.

Finally on fitness, again it is a journey to a desired end.  Much like learning to ride a bike we will have crashes and some of them will hurt.  We MUST however, pick the bike back up and go again.  With practice we get better, and with a coach or a cheerleader, any accountability partner it is easier to get going again.  Do you have a champion, to turn to for encouragement, just as those learning to ride that bike typically have that parent running alongside until they get the confidence to go it more on their own?

The bottom line this week is don't let the early distractions or obstacles deter you from your goals.  Assess and limit the mess!  Together we can all DO WELL!

How to Do Well

Last week we looked at establishing goals for the coming year.  This not necessarily an easy process but it is necessary to success.  I hope that you have considered a few goals, or at least begun rolling a few ideas around in your head.

Once you put them on paper, or onto an electronic planner you are not finished.  There is a next step that many people will skip which the most successful will not, and that is to develop a strategy of how they will achieve those goals.  This again will take some time, and to be optimal may force us to confront changes in our daily actions and thought processes.  This is why most New Year Resolutions don't last through the end of the first month as we fail to confront these changes and develop these strategies.

You and I can make 2016 highly successful for ourselves if we will commit now to Do Well.  This involves the types of preparation we have discussed the past couple of weeks, along with a plan for tracking of our progress and course correction when we deviate.  It is my hope that you each have gained something from this discussion and are better prepared remembering that"With God we will. . . Do Well!"

Good Times

This morning I have to write about something we watched on TV last night. 

Some of you likely remember the 70's TV show "Good Times" and it's iconic character JJ.  The show is set in a Chicago ghetto and revolves around the daily life of the Evans family and their neighbors.  The family consists of father James, mother Florida, eldest son JJ, daughter Thelma, and youngest son Michael.

In the episode Angie and I came across last night Michael was having difficulty with a neighborhood bully.  This was causing differing concerns and responses from the parents.  Finally James had directed Michael to "take a stand" against the bully in hopes that the bullying would come to an end.

Later that day Michael was late getting home and Florida was getting quite concerned, as only a mom can.  Then Michael came in and had not a scratch upon him and the rest of the family was stunned.  They asked what had happened that he had not been touched?  He said you can ask him, the bully, because he had invited him to spend the weekend with them in their home.

As the story progressed James told them they needed to study so Michael sat down  and the bully initially sat with him.  However he grew weary of it quickly and tried to get out of it, even demeaning Michael for it.  At this point as he was becoming increasingly belligerent James took control of the situation by taking his belt off and carrying the youngster to his bedroom to administer a good old fashioned spanking.

When this was done the whole family went on to explain how this worked, that some could whip the devil out of you out of concern and caring.  This was difficult for the young man to understand as it was obviously a new concept.

For us it served as a clear reminder that we must be diligent in discipline with our children and that we also have a responsibility, God-given, to aid in pointing others in the right way.  Today James would likely have been brought up on child abuse charges, when in reality he was heroically filling a void in the life of this child.  Let's work together to bring up a better generation, with God we will.

A Change of Perspective

As I write it is an early fall Saturday, my wife is having to work, and my daughter and I have been cleaning the house.  Now that we have finished cleaning I have settled in watching some college football and reading.  With at least 8 channels on our cable package currently showing games you would think I could find one that was remotely interesting.  Not happening.

I think this is a sign of growth, maturity, or both.  There was a time when it did not matter who was playing, I was going to be into it.  Now unlesss one of the few teams that I follow is involved it seems interest is lacking.  The reading is far more interesting. 

As I proposed in a previous writing I believe the library is one of the most under-appreciated assets in our communities.  What better course would our country, and our families be on if we introduced our kids to the library and  the church with as much enthusiasm as their first ball glove?  I was a youth athlete and have no doubt that the sports were a factor in forming me into the man I am today.  That being said, times have very much changed as families are putting everything they have, and often more, into supporting their young world beaters, while at the same time neglecting other areas that are even more vital to their future success.
Where do you and your family fit in this spectrum?  We all say we want what is best for our children, but do we truly consider the whole picture?  The odds are remote at best that our children will ever be professional athletes, they are only slightly better that they will be collegiate athletes earning scholarships, but eventually they will find themselves out in the realities of the world.  Those realities are not always pleasant and a deeply rooted faith in Christ and a well rounded perspective from their studies, and readings will provide a far better basis for success.

Consider now where you are, and where you want to be with your family.  Do you need to make some changes?  Remember that with God we will. . . succeed.