Most, if not all, of us like to set goals and achieve them, whether formal or informal in nature. If you are a regular reader of "Workout Your Faith", then you know that I speak often about goals and the way we go about setting them, and/or achieving them. Today I want to look primarily at the dirty dark side of the situation, when we don't live up to our expectations. How do we handle it? What comes next? Did I fail? These are a few of the questions I need to look into with you, so that we can all come out better on the other side.
As I write I have just completed a week that has shown two variations in how this works, one from my own experience and the other from observing my daughter. The difference is stark, and one must consider the difference in age and maturity level between a 48 (soon to be) 49 year old, and that of a 16 year old, but I find it illustrative nonetheless.
In my corporate position we have been involved for months with an audit of our financial records by a contractor for the federal government. This is not an audit because of any criminal wrongdoing, but a part of the growing oversight to determine that government dollars are being used in the most appropriate manner possible (remember that budget deficit and national debt stuff). This past Monday when I returned to the office we had finally received the draft report from the auditors that will be given to the agency with whom we are contracted to begin the next phase of the audit process, the error correction phase.
The report outlined the issues that the auditors found with our processes and systems, and how these few areas were deficient under the regulations. As a matter of expectation none of the items were a tremendous surprise. When you are a small organization and deal with the tremendous complexities of government regulation, it is not unusual to miss something or not fully understand the ramifications of seemingly small items. My disappointment in the audit findings then was not tremendous. Yes we all want a clean audit, no matter the field we are in, or who is doing the oversight, but we also realize these people are here to make us better. It is when we adopt this attitude that we will succeed. Those who oversee us and can in the proper context guide us to improvement are to be respected and followed.
In the church it might look like this:
Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be
submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for
"God resists the proud,
but gives grace to the humble."
Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
I Peter 1:5-7
On the other end of the scale is the disappointment such as my daughter faced this week. Olivia is a bright, talented, energetic, overachieving sophomore at a local high school. Yesterday was the annual audition for the All-Region choir which she was a part of last year at the Jr. High level, and by the way when these choirs get together and sing it is a beautiful thing, especially to an old sports guy that missed the boat when it came to the arts back in my youth. Unfortunately Friday rolled around and she was not feeling well, and yesterday morning early, even as we were rolling into the parking lot to catch the bus to the audition, she said, "I can't do it." Then as we exited the car and walked to the door to notify the choir director there was a change of heart (less than two minutes from "I can't do it.") So off she went knowing in her heart that she was not at her best. Several hours later her number was called for the audition. The time she had put in was being put to the test, and then the waiting would begin. We picked her up and of course the first question we had was, "how did it go?" The truthful response, "terrible". It is understood from the viewpoint of a parent that it is difficult to perform at your highest levels when you do not feel well. In the eyes of youth it may be known, but that knowledge doesn't cross the threshold of our mind to the emotional side. So as the waiting persisted, and she started to feel a little better physically, her level of expectation (even though she termed her performance terrible) rose, and she fully expected to be named to one of the All-Region honor choirs. Alas, the call came late last evening, and reality set in. There would be no honor choir this year. Yes we were, and continue to be, disappointed for her. No it isn't easy consoling our kids in their disappointment. However, we will see over the next several days what she is made of, in how she responds to the disappointment.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
so are the children of one's youth.
Psalm 127:4
Our job as parents will be to make sure her arrow remains on point, and aimed in the proper direction. Her job will be to assess her preparation and performance, as well as the reality of her decision to perform in light of her illness. We as parents are proud of her for showing commitment and sticktoitiveness in carrying on despite her illness, and yet we must help her temper her emotions and re-connect the realities of the situation to the emotions she has felt.
As we all set goals and seek success with the various aspects of our lives we must remember to keep the connections clear between the realities of the world and the emotions and desires of our heart. Some have said,
"I never fail, as long as I learn from my failures"
I like that. That is an attitude that will propel you forward. Forward, with a few occasional steps back for perspective, is the direction we need to be heading. A winning attitude will help us all to Make Today Great!
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