Family Finance: A Common Struggle

Faith is a shifty thing.  One day you think you've got it covered, and the next day you wake up in what seems like a whole new world and it feels like it has receded like the tides.  Such it is with so much of our life.

Last week we covered in depth and with a great deal of personal reflection the fitness challenge.  This week I turn my mind to finances.  This is often a trouble spot and a point of contention.  In fact it is commonly listed among the top reasons for divorce.  There is no doubt that it plays an important part in our marriages and the health of our homes.

Why does the state of the families finances play such a role in the health of the family?  You could look at a number of reasons, but I want to zero in on just a few.

3 Reasons Family Finance is Difficult

1. Our culture almost forces it upon us.  In 2016 nearly $190 billion were spent on advertising here in the good old U.S. of A.  That is a staggering number of dollars being spent to make us think we need anything from the newest tech toy on the market to the "best" of whatever products money can buy.          https://www.statista.com/topics/979/advertising-in-the-us/
2. We don't like to be different.  We have coined a term over the years, keeping up with the Joneses.  That is exactly how so many among us live our lives and it puts is in the all too uncomfortable position to choose between following the "norms" of our peers and doing what we know to be right or prudent.
3. The quest for more can lead to less time together which in turn leads to an unfulfilled desire for companionship.  This is dangerous and can lead into other precarious positions that open new doors of temptation or resentment.

So then you might ask, how do we avoid the traps and pitfalls?  I certainly don't have all the answers as we too struggle with keeping our priorities properly aligned.  However, I think there are a few keys here as well.

3 Musts for a Great Family

Finance Plan

1. Priorities - these must be shared and agreed upon.  Knowing what it is that is important to each of you and how these priorities impact the core of your relationship goes a long way toward minimizing financial issues.
2. Giving - always find a way to give.  This allows us to recognize a level of gratitude for the blessings we have been given, and to share our good fortune with others.  This is hard, particularly when you are struggling with your finances, but is essential in any good financial plan.
3. Communication - This is probably where I struggle as greatly as any other part of this discussion.  Again, this is a critical element of a sound financial plan.  In fact number one in this list, priorities, cannot be established without open dialogue.  

In the end perspective is a key component to success in finance, fitness, faith, or any endeavor we undertake.  With that in mind, here is today's positive perspective:

2 Corinthians 9:8

And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you,

always having sufficiency in all things,

may have an abundance for every good work.

God will provide for our needs (sufficiency), and among those needs is some leeway, GRACE, knowing that we as imperfect individuals will make mistakes.  Don't beat yourself up when you make a financial or any other error, but learn from it and move forward.  This is a big way for you and I to MAKE TODAY GREAT!

Fatness, Fitness, and Faithfulness

When you look at the three words that form this week's title what do you see?  Yes, they all begin with F, so there is an alliterative quality.  No, that's not the correct answer.  There is a common word that ties them to together or separates them.  The word is discipline.

I must confess that I often see myself as fat, and my doctor would agree as I teeter right along, or slightly cross back and forth the line between being overweight and obese, as medically defined.  Yes my BMI is approximately 30, and no I am not proud of that.  The primary reason is a lack of sufficient discipline.  That lack of discipline has taken me over the course of 30 years from a skinny 155 pounder coming out of high school to a peak weight of 240 pounds (approximately) which may not even capture my true peak since I wasn't weighing in regularly.  That 85 pound gain over 25 years, at that point, wreaked havoc on my body.  Just over 5 years ago now I was diagnosed first with severe sleep apnea which is a dangerous enough condition, then around 3 months later with the trifecta of type 2 diabetes, underactive thyroid, and high cholesterol.  Yea me!  Not exactly, my lack of discipline had painted me into a dangerous corner that then forced a new discipline upon me.

When you deal with diabetes discipline becomes an absolute necessity.  To control your blood sugars you must keep a regular check on them by testing which involves using a sharp lancet and shooting it into your flesh to draw blood that is then absorbed onto a test strip which is inserted into a glucometer and presto, bammo your blood sugar level is revealed.  Sounds like a ton of fun doesn't it. . .   This is a discipline that gets combined with a change in dietary habits, and the regularly scheduled taking of medicines, to try and keep the amazing G0d-created machine that is our body functioning at its best available levels.

Discipline in the activities I chose to do or not do, and the foods and drinks that I consumed over those 25 years would have made a difference in the choices I would have available to me today.  But, you may say, some of us were born this way, or have genetic conditions that put us into these positions.  That can be true, however, even in those situations the discipline you exercise, or choose not to exercise, impacts the severity and/or ultimate outcomes you may face.

So my fatness was a essentially a result of my failure to exercise discipline.  Now for the past five years I have chosen improved habits under the forced discipline of lifelong medical conditions.  I choose a more fit lifestyle.  No, I am not perfect, and no I am not a middle aged fitness model.  Yes I am 30 pounds lighter today than 5 years ago when all these crazy diagnoses were revealed.  Yet as a I stated earlier I am stumbling right along that overweight/obese line. 

 I struggle most with the food choices that make a huge impact on my fitness and my fatness.  Through the help of a friend, who is a life health coach for my employer, I recently began using a tracking application called My Fitness Pal which has been tremendously helpful.  The thing that has been most interesting is finding that my diet has been such that over 50% of my calories are coming from fats.  Already with the diagnoses of diabetes and high cholesterol this sounds like a recipe for major heart issues in the future.  NOT GOOD!  I have been, with the aid of this simple app, attempting to improve my numbers, and it is HARD!!! 

Discipline. . . discipline. . . discipline how do I improve thee?

This discipline or lack of it translates into other areas of our lives as well.  It can be identified in our finances, our family, and our faith if we are willing to honestly examine those areas as well.  Let's take faith for example.  I was raised in a home where we went to church and believed in God, yet I never got overly excited about God's Word, church attendance, or service to others.  Yes, that is all a lack of discipline, but first it was really a lack of understanding.  Which if we circle back to the fatness/fitness issues above is at the heart of that issue as well.  I floundered around for far too long just believing in God and essentially thinking that I am a good person, I'll be okay.  Unfortunately, that is not how this works.

"for all have sinned and fall

short of the glory of God."

Romans 3:23 

My belief alone was not going to do me a bit of good as James, the brother of Jesus wrote;

"You believe that there is one God.

You do well.

Even the demons believe- and tremble!"

James 2:19

Again, when these truths began to sink in it was time to make some changes.  Alas, discipline again enters the scene.  I had to make some changes and some choices.  In December of 2004 at the ripe old age of 36 I made the decision to follow Christ, and began to walk in His discipline, as a disciple.  Similar to the struggles on the health and fitness side, it doesn't always come easy, but it is worth it!  Yes I have times when I bottom out or plateau, but I trudge on.  Those are common to any worthwhile endeavor.  As Andy Andrews writes in "The Traveler's Gift", 

"I will persist without exception."

I can't think of a better place to cutoff my ramblings for today.  This week seek out discipline in your life and know that it is a challenge, then persist.  That is how you will Make Today GREAT!

Weeding and Trimming: Maintenance for Our Lives

Where I live today was a grand and glorious day, with warm temps and a nice breeze.  It made it almost enjoyable to do some yard work.  Most assuredly not my favorite yard work; trimming shrubs, pulling weeds, running a weed whacker, and sweeping/raking up the mess then boxing it up for the garbage collectors to pick up next week.

It almost seems unfair to talk about such a beautiful day when our friends in Texas and Louisiana are recovering from Hurricane Harvey and the entire state of Florida and much of the southeast is under the gun from Hurricane Irma.

The work I did has its own spiritual application that we could all consider.  Yes, here I go again, with the unlikely comparisons. . .

First, of all we all have things growing in our lives that are out of control, or invading like weeds in a flower bed.  Thus, if we intend to keep the gardens of our life growing, healthy, and beautiful we have to do some maintenance.  This includes pulling the weeds by getting those things out of our life that really don't belong.

Second, just like we need to keep our hair or nails trimmed, so too must we trim and shape the lives we wish to lead.  This involves managing our time, health, and faith.  Nothing should do more to shape our lives than the faith we have.  Each time we engage in spiritual activities such as prayer, meditation, scriptural study, or worship we are taking care of our garden.  Likewise when we maintain a reasonably health diet and take on greater physical activity that strengthens us just like trimming away the unhealthy portions of a plant can make what remains stronger for the future.

Finally we must make sure that when we eliminate things from our lives that we send them packing.  We don't need to hang onto them, or expect them to do us any good for the future.  By removing them (or their temptations) from our immediate area we can limit their ability to harm us.

This is a faithful saying, and these things I want you to affirm constantly, 

that those who have believed in God should be careful to maintain good works.  

These things are good and profitable to men.  

Titus 3:8

Work In Progress

I write this while watching some college football, as this weekend marks the start of another season.  Unusually enough there is a matchup of two of the titans of the game, Alabama versus Florida State, on this opening weekend.  Watching this game and listening to the buildup for the season on sports talk radio this week I heard a lot of “coachspeak”.

Coachspeak is unique language that goes a long way around to say nothing of value.  Among those phrases that are used, particularly early in the season is, “we are a work in progress.”  Basically the coaches are saying we aren’t sure what we have got this year, or if they are a bit more certain, then they are “poor mouthing” or “sandbagging” trying to lower expectations among the media and the fan base while not agitating their opponents.

This phenomenon is not exclusive to the sports world, but can be found in 0ther walks of life as well.  It may be known as diplomacy, salesmanship, or various other names.  All in all I fear that it has slipped into our faith as well.  While for Christians scripture pretty much lays out that we are a work in progress, it also provides that God’s grace is big enough to cover us when we chart our course along God’s paths.  The problem is when we become dependent (not sure if this is the right word) upon that grace to the point where it clouds our judgment.  Without a proper understanding of His grace we go on about our business with little or no concern for doing right things.  This is a slippery slope.

This week I challenge you to take a hard look at the following:

1. How does God’s grace impact your life?
2. Has the concept of God’s grace clouded your judgment?
3. Is there room for you to narrow your focus a bit to enjoy a closer walk with God?

Coachspeak can be disingenuous and problematic in the sports world.  Don’t let the perception of our faith be diminished by a wishy washy attitude.  Be bold and stand with honesty and integrity.

Beloved, while I was very diligent to write to you

Concerning our common salvation, I found it

Necessary to write to you exhorting you to

Contend earnestly for the faith which was

Once for all delivered to the saints.

Jude 1:3

As a work in progress continue to be sanctified daily; be a contender, not a pretender in all the seasons of your life.  Make this week GREAT!

Bridges

I am neither an engineer, nor an architect, but I am fascinated by structures and the way they fit into our physical landscape.  One of the most intriguing of the structures we see each day are bridges.  We go from the most basic wooden bridge crossing the creeks and streams on our country roads, to the elegant structures such as the Ravenel Bridge in Charleston, SC (pictured below).

Not only do bridges provide utility in that we are able to cross from one side to another over chasms or bodies of water, but they often add to the landscape by providing points of reference, and there is the physical beauty of the structures themselves, when we step back and observe the genius involved in their construction.

So you may be asking how does that relate to my faith?  I am glad you asked!  When others look across the landscape of their lives what do they see in you?  As Christians we can be a bridge helping others across the ditches, depressions, and canyons of sin.

Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.  Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.  For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.  Galatians 6:1-3

One of the key features of most bridges is the fact that they are set on pilings.  These pilings are driven deep into the ground, built upon the bedrock below.  This puts the bridge on firm footing and provides strength and stability.  In order for us to live to our full potential as Christian bridges we too must be built upon a solid foundation.  Our faith must be deeply rooted upon a firm foundation in God’s Word.  A surface level faith will limit our utility in His service, and not provide the clear beauty of an amazingly constructed bridge.

Bridges in our modern world are typically conceived by engineers who put a great deal of time, thought and detail into their design.  For us to reach our highest potential, we too should look at the pattern of the engineer and determine that we will design our lives in such a way as to serve well and create beauty.  This is not easy, and it requires that we live with intention.  

Yes, living intentionally, seems to be a buzzword at this time but it is an important concept.  I don’t believe we need so consumed with structuring and planning every detail of our lives in such a way that we don’t have room for a bit of spontaneity.  I do, however, believe that most of us could stand to add more structure to our world.  This takes a careful examination of every aspect of our lives and mapping out the path from point A (where we are) to point B (where we want to be).  What substructures and superstructures will we need to set in place to provide the strength and flexibility necessary to weather the storms, and aid others who seek us out for calm, Christ-assured strength, and love to heal their wounds?

You know the standards here for Christians are prayer, meditation, and study of scripture.  It goes beyond that, to build the most impressive bridge, it will also take a look at your schedules (how you use your time), your health (are you physically/emotionally/mentally able to be present), your finances (does your budget permit you the flexibility to assist financially), and can branch into every aspect of your daily activity.

Now as you pass through this world I want you to be aware of the bridges around us, and then think about how, you too, might become a bridge for others.  This is another way that we can Make Today GREAT!

Eclipse Hysteria

Tomorrow August 21, 2017 is a day being marked by tremendous anticipation by oh so many across this country.  Why?  There will be a solar eclipse across the skies of the good ole U.S.A., and for a small swathe of the country it will reach totality.

Yes, this is an interesting phenomena, but no it is not a reason for the obsessive commentary and actions that we are seeing, and have seen for weeks now.  There are those doomsayers out there who are proclaiming that this is the end of the world.  Okay, no problem, my soul is in order with God and I know my eternal destination.  Next!  
Eclipses have been occurring on occasion since the beginning of time.  They are a just another part of the evidences of creation.  God put things into place and set the universe in motion in a tremendously intricate, orderly fashion, and scripture tells us about it in many places such as the three I have listed below.

 Psalm 19:1 The heavens declare the glory of God; And the firmament shows His handiwork.

Proverbs 3:19 The Lord by wisdom founded the earth;

By understanding He established the heavens

Ecclesiastes 1:1-8  The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem.

2 

“Vanity of vanities,” says the Preacher;

“Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.”

3 

What profit has a man from all his labor

In which he toils under the sun?

4 

One generation passes away, and another generation comes;

But the earth abides forever.

5 

The sun also rises, and the sun goes down,

And hastens to the place where it arose.

6 

The wind goes toward the south,

And turns around to the north;

The wind whirls about continually,

And comes again on its circuit.

7 

All the rivers run into the sea,

Yet the sea is not full;

To the place from which the rivers come,

There they return again.

So, if you must get worked up about the eclipse that's fine, just put it into the proper context.  It is a unique celestial event that is evidence of the order that God set in motion with the creation.  This is not a doomsday scenario, and it is not anything that can be directly tied to biblical prophecy.  Disclaimer, please recall that I am not a bible scholar.

Make today GREAT!

Back to School 2017

I think this captures my

daughter's thought processes 

pretty accurately, maybe?

It is now that crazy and exciting time when our kids head back to school.  For me this year will be especially interesting as my daughter moves to high school.  Last year as a freshman she began accumulating her credits toward graduation, but it all gets very real from here on out.

The next three years will hold many questions about the future, and lots of exciting times as we experience her growth and the challenges she, and every other student, will face.  Are we ready?  It is likely that no one is ever ready, but we believe that the base upon which her life has been built will serve her well.

So you might ask, what is that base?  It is a base built upon a solid Christian faith, the importance of family, learning decision making by actually making decisions, and not biting off more than you can chew.  Sound simplistic, well it probably is, but so far so good.  No we don't have it all figured out, and there will be plenty of opportunities for our daughter, or us as parents, to totally blow it.  That is when we will learn the very difficult lessons of forgiveness, grace, mercy, and reflection.

Are these characteristics present in your life and home?  Each of these are essential in order to move forward after the errors, failures, and letdowns that we face.  How we respond to adversity is a powerful revelation of character, and can also be a difference maker in the eventual outcomes we see.

So as back to school time comes and quickly leads to the routines and flows of the school year take a moment or two and think about where you are with your kids.  Consider that each school year that begins marks another step closer to their leaving home and walking in the world as adults.  Will they be ready?  We cannot live their lives for them, so our goal must be to prepare them daily to be ready for this coming eventuality.

Pray for all our children and be there as a friend, mentor, or listening ear.  Just as we need those things, they need them in spades!

Make today GREAT!

Here are a few links to help:

27 Back to School Organizing Tips

American Academy of Pediatrics Back to School Tips

Princeton Review Study Tips