Family Finance: A Common Struggle

Faith is a shifty thing.  One day you think you've got it covered, and the next day you wake up in what seems like a whole new world and it feels like it has receded like the tides.  Such it is with so much of our life.

Last week we covered in depth and with a great deal of personal reflection the fitness challenge.  This week I turn my mind to finances.  This is often a trouble spot and a point of contention.  In fact it is commonly listed among the top reasons for divorce.  There is no doubt that it plays an important part in our marriages and the health of our homes.

Why does the state of the families finances play such a role in the health of the family?  You could look at a number of reasons, but I want to zero in on just a few.

3 Reasons Family Finance is Difficult

1. Our culture almost forces it upon us.  In 2016 nearly $190 billion were spent on advertising here in the good old U.S. of A.  That is a staggering number of dollars being spent to make us think we need anything from the newest tech toy on the market to the "best" of whatever products money can buy.          https://www.statista.com/topics/979/advertising-in-the-us/
2. We don't like to be different.  We have coined a term over the years, keeping up with the Joneses.  That is exactly how so many among us live our lives and it puts is in the all too uncomfortable position to choose between following the "norms" of our peers and doing what we know to be right or prudent.
3. The quest for more can lead to less time together which in turn leads to an unfulfilled desire for companionship.  This is dangerous and can lead into other precarious positions that open new doors of temptation or resentment.

So then you might ask, how do we avoid the traps and pitfalls?  I certainly don't have all the answers as we too struggle with keeping our priorities properly aligned.  However, I think there are a few keys here as well.

3 Musts for a Great Family

Finance Plan

1. Priorities - these must be shared and agreed upon.  Knowing what it is that is important to each of you and how these priorities impact the core of your relationship goes a long way toward minimizing financial issues.
2. Giving - always find a way to give.  This allows us to recognize a level of gratitude for the blessings we have been given, and to share our good fortune with others.  This is hard, particularly when you are struggling with your finances, but is essential in any good financial plan.
3. Communication - This is probably where I struggle as greatly as any other part of this discussion.  Again, this is a critical element of a sound financial plan.  In fact number one in this list, priorities, cannot be established without open dialogue.  

In the end perspective is a key component to success in finance, fitness, faith, or any endeavor we undertake.  With that in mind, here is today's positive perspective:

2 Corinthians 9:8

And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you,

always having sufficiency in all things,

may have an abundance for every good work.

God will provide for our needs (sufficiency), and among those needs is some leeway, GRACE, knowing that we as imperfect individuals will make mistakes.  Don't beat yourself up when you make a financial or any other error, but learn from it and move forward.  This is a big way for you and I to MAKE TODAY GREAT!

Fatness, Fitness, and Faithfulness

When you look at the three words that form this week's title what do you see?  Yes, they all begin with F, so there is an alliterative quality.  No, that's not the correct answer.  There is a common word that ties them to together or separates them.  The word is discipline.

I must confess that I often see myself as fat, and my doctor would agree as I teeter right along, or slightly cross back and forth the line between being overweight and obese, as medically defined.  Yes my BMI is approximately 30, and no I am not proud of that.  The primary reason is a lack of sufficient discipline.  That lack of discipline has taken me over the course of 30 years from a skinny 155 pounder coming out of high school to a peak weight of 240 pounds (approximately) which may not even capture my true peak since I wasn't weighing in regularly.  That 85 pound gain over 25 years, at that point, wreaked havoc on my body.  Just over 5 years ago now I was diagnosed first with severe sleep apnea which is a dangerous enough condition, then around 3 months later with the trifecta of type 2 diabetes, underactive thyroid, and high cholesterol.  Yea me!  Not exactly, my lack of discipline had painted me into a dangerous corner that then forced a new discipline upon me.

When you deal with diabetes discipline becomes an absolute necessity.  To control your blood sugars you must keep a regular check on them by testing which involves using a sharp lancet and shooting it into your flesh to draw blood that is then absorbed onto a test strip which is inserted into a glucometer and presto, bammo your blood sugar level is revealed.  Sounds like a ton of fun doesn't it. . .   This is a discipline that gets combined with a change in dietary habits, and the regularly scheduled taking of medicines, to try and keep the amazing G0d-created machine that is our body functioning at its best available levels.

Discipline in the activities I chose to do or not do, and the foods and drinks that I consumed over those 25 years would have made a difference in the choices I would have available to me today.  But, you may say, some of us were born this way, or have genetic conditions that put us into these positions.  That can be true, however, even in those situations the discipline you exercise, or choose not to exercise, impacts the severity and/or ultimate outcomes you may face.

So my fatness was a essentially a result of my failure to exercise discipline.  Now for the past five years I have chosen improved habits under the forced discipline of lifelong medical conditions.  I choose a more fit lifestyle.  No, I am not perfect, and no I am not a middle aged fitness model.  Yes I am 30 pounds lighter today than 5 years ago when all these crazy diagnoses were revealed.  Yet as a I stated earlier I am stumbling right along that overweight/obese line. 

 I struggle most with the food choices that make a huge impact on my fitness and my fatness.  Through the help of a friend, who is a life health coach for my employer, I recently began using a tracking application called My Fitness Pal which has been tremendously helpful.  The thing that has been most interesting is finding that my diet has been such that over 50% of my calories are coming from fats.  Already with the diagnoses of diabetes and high cholesterol this sounds like a recipe for major heart issues in the future.  NOT GOOD!  I have been, with the aid of this simple app, attempting to improve my numbers, and it is HARD!!! 

Discipline. . . discipline. . . discipline how do I improve thee?

This discipline or lack of it translates into other areas of our lives as well.  It can be identified in our finances, our family, and our faith if we are willing to honestly examine those areas as well.  Let's take faith for example.  I was raised in a home where we went to church and believed in God, yet I never got overly excited about God's Word, church attendance, or service to others.  Yes, that is all a lack of discipline, but first it was really a lack of understanding.  Which if we circle back to the fatness/fitness issues above is at the heart of that issue as well.  I floundered around for far too long just believing in God and essentially thinking that I am a good person, I'll be okay.  Unfortunately, that is not how this works.

"for all have sinned and fall

short of the glory of God."

Romans 3:23 

My belief alone was not going to do me a bit of good as James, the brother of Jesus wrote;

"You believe that there is one God.

You do well.

Even the demons believe- and tremble!"

James 2:19

Again, when these truths began to sink in it was time to make some changes.  Alas, discipline again enters the scene.  I had to make some changes and some choices.  In December of 2004 at the ripe old age of 36 I made the decision to follow Christ, and began to walk in His discipline, as a disciple.  Similar to the struggles on the health and fitness side, it doesn't always come easy, but it is worth it!  Yes I have times when I bottom out or plateau, but I trudge on.  Those are common to any worthwhile endeavor.  As Andy Andrews writes in "The Traveler's Gift", 

"I will persist without exception."

I can't think of a better place to cutoff my ramblings for today.  This week seek out discipline in your life and know that it is a challenge, then persist.  That is how you will Make Today GREAT!

Weeding and Trimming: Maintenance for Our Lives

Where I live today was a grand and glorious day, with warm temps and a nice breeze.  It made it almost enjoyable to do some yard work.  Most assuredly not my favorite yard work; trimming shrubs, pulling weeds, running a weed whacker, and sweeping/raking up the mess then boxing it up for the garbage collectors to pick up next week.

It almost seems unfair to talk about such a beautiful day when our friends in Texas and Louisiana are recovering from Hurricane Harvey and the entire state of Florida and much of the southeast is under the gun from Hurricane Irma.

The work I did has its own spiritual application that we could all consider.  Yes, here I go again, with the unlikely comparisons. . .

First, of all we all have things growing in our lives that are out of control, or invading like weeds in a flower bed.  Thus, if we intend to keep the gardens of our life growing, healthy, and beautiful we have to do some maintenance.  This includes pulling the weeds by getting those things out of our life that really don't belong.

Second, just like we need to keep our hair or nails trimmed, so too must we trim and shape the lives we wish to lead.  This involves managing our time, health, and faith.  Nothing should do more to shape our lives than the faith we have.  Each time we engage in spiritual activities such as prayer, meditation, scriptural study, or worship we are taking care of our garden.  Likewise when we maintain a reasonably health diet and take on greater physical activity that strengthens us just like trimming away the unhealthy portions of a plant can make what remains stronger for the future.

Finally we must make sure that when we eliminate things from our lives that we send them packing.  We don't need to hang onto them, or expect them to do us any good for the future.  By removing them (or their temptations) from our immediate area we can limit their ability to harm us.

This is a faithful saying, and these things I want you to affirm constantly, 

that those who have believed in God should be careful to maintain good works.  

These things are good and profitable to men.  

Titus 3:8

Work In Progress

I write this while watching some college football, as this weekend marks the start of another season.  Unusually enough there is a matchup of two of the titans of the game, Alabama versus Florida State, on this opening weekend.  Watching this game and listening to the buildup for the season on sports talk radio this week I heard a lot of “coachspeak”.

Coachspeak is unique language that goes a long way around to say nothing of value.  Among those phrases that are used, particularly early in the season is, “we are a work in progress.”  Basically the coaches are saying we aren’t sure what we have got this year, or if they are a bit more certain, then they are “poor mouthing” or “sandbagging” trying to lower expectations among the media and the fan base while not agitating their opponents.

This phenomenon is not exclusive to the sports world, but can be found in 0ther walks of life as well.  It may be known as diplomacy, salesmanship, or various other names.  All in all I fear that it has slipped into our faith as well.  While for Christians scripture pretty much lays out that we are a work in progress, it also provides that God’s grace is big enough to cover us when we chart our course along God’s paths.  The problem is when we become dependent (not sure if this is the right word) upon that grace to the point where it clouds our judgment.  Without a proper understanding of His grace we go on about our business with little or no concern for doing right things.  This is a slippery slope.

This week I challenge you to take a hard look at the following:

1. How does God’s grace impact your life?
2. Has the concept of God’s grace clouded your judgment?
3. Is there room for you to narrow your focus a bit to enjoy a closer walk with God?

Coachspeak can be disingenuous and problematic in the sports world.  Don’t let the perception of our faith be diminished by a wishy washy attitude.  Be bold and stand with honesty and integrity.

Beloved, while I was very diligent to write to you

Concerning our common salvation, I found it

Necessary to write to you exhorting you to

Contend earnestly for the faith which was

Once for all delivered to the saints.

Jude 1:3

As a work in progress continue to be sanctified daily; be a contender, not a pretender in all the seasons of your life.  Make this week GREAT!